My husband died nine months ago and I’m struggling to cope. We’d been married for fifteen years. I had a lot of support at first but as time went by the support gradually dropped away. I think people assume I’ve got over by now and I don’t understand why I still feel so angry and tearful. I miss my husband so much and I don’t know how to get over it
Anonymous
Answer
I don’t think people ever “get over” a loss like yours. I think it’s more a matter of trying to make a different life for yourself without the person you love. The grief will get easier to live with in time but I’m afraid grieving is a process and there are no short cuts. There are five main stages of grief and they can be experienced in any order; shock, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. It really helps to talk to someone who understands grief; CRUSE Bereavement Care is a very good national organisation and in some areas there are local bereavement support groups. Your GP surgery may have helpful contact details. For complicated grief, such as circumstances involving suicide or the death of a child, professional bereavement counselling may be beneficial