Ten years ago, when I was 28, I had a very pretty butterfly tattoo put on the top of my left arm. I loved wearing strappy tops and dresses to show it off and it made me feel really good about myself. Unfortunately, in the last few years I’ve gained quite a lot of baby weight and I’m struggling to lose it. Also, my flesh isn’t as firm as it used to be now I’m approaching forty. I feel ashamed of my wrinkled tattoo and it’s causing me to lose my confidence and self- esteem. I feel so unhappy and I don’t know what to do about it.
Anonymous
Answer
It’s a shame that something that was pretty and helped you feel good about yourself has become the cause of such unhappiness. Let’s face it, when we are young it’s almost impossible to imagine that our shape may change and that our skin won’t look smooth and firm for ever. There are measures that can be taken concerning the tattoo, of course. Removal may be and option to consider though it’s said to be painful and expensive. Another option may be to keep it covered such as with sleeves.
There’s a deeper issue here that needs to be mentioned though, which is that true and lasting self-esteem comes from within; from feeling at ease with our-selves. It comes from liking and respecting the person that we are. Nobody needs to undergo cosmetic procedures in order to improve their self-esteem.
Low self esteem often comes from being bullied or abused in some way; even it’s mildest form can have a lasting effect. I can’t emphasise enough that it’s very important not to believe people who try to blame, accuse and put us down. That kind of behaviour, however low key, is a form of bullying and is unacceptable and inappropriate. We all know when we’ve said or done something wrong and we hold up our hands and are honest about it. We don’t need unnecessary criticism from others. It helps if we can surround ourselves with people who accept us for who we are and don’t try to change us. If we are kind, respectful, thoughtful people who want to get on with others then what’s not to like and accept!