The other men at work are always discussing sport and having bets but I hate sport. I pretend I like it and I watch it just so I can know the scores and who won. I like reading a good thriller or a walk on the moors and I like taking photographs of wildlife and seascapes, not sport. I pretend to be like them at work because I want to fit in. Trouble is I’m not being me.
Anonymous
Answer
We don’t have to be like everybody else. We are all unique and we can be ourselves; it’s ok to be different. Being different doesn’t necessarily mean people won’t like us and we won’t fit in. Fitting in is partly about showing an interest in what the others are talking about, it’s true, but it’s more about feeling at ease with who we are. We can come across as false if we try to pretend to be someone we’re not. When we feel comfortable with who we are it’s more likely others will feel comfortable with us.
It’s fair to say that there are a few people out there who aggressively dislike difference and they’re bullies. Fortunately, they’re very much in the minority. We feel at ease with ourselves when we like who we are but some people may struggle with this; especially if they’ve been bullied. Bullying can cause lasting trauma but therapy can help.