My partner overworks. She’s happy doing what she does and she’s so fulfilled but it’s all she talks about outside of the kids. I’m happy in my job too but hers is her dream job and I don’t want her to feel I’m not supporting her but even when I try to talk to her about it she tells me it’s just for now… that while the business is there we have to make the most of it. I’m not a selfish person but it’s like having a third person in the marriage sometimes
Anonymous
Answer
This must be incredibly frustrating for you as your partner’s life seems to be way out of balance. It seems like there’s no time left for you. However, she may be anxious about the responsibility of her job. When people have already tried talking, sometimes it helps to talk again taking a different approach. Being supportive is important in any partnership but there’s a limit, which is where negotiating boundaries can become helpful. Calm, clear communication is often the key for couples.It may be possible to agree on times when it’s ok to work or talk about work, remembering to be reassuring and supportive. It may be possible to agree that there are times when we don’t talk about work; when the focus is on other things. Possibilities may be meal times, weekends and after a certain time in the evening. It’s all about calm, clear communication with balance and agreement; in a caring way